Travis and I (eric) drove to Orlando’s House of Blues last night to see the first Flaming Lips concert in Orlando since 1994.  We got there 2+ hours before the doors opened to ensure a good standing room spot. 

The HOB (corporate slang for “the most authentic corporate blues bar in the world”) has a “skip the line” policy.  In order to “skip the line” you have to either order an entree from the equally authentic restaurant or purchase $20 worth of merchandise per ticket holder in the HOB corporate gift shop.  The way I look at it is you’re paying 20 bucks for a better seat.  Totally worth it. 

So, Travis and I picked out two $20 shirts and rushed to the checkout counter. “I’m sorry, our shirts are $20 each, but we sell them 2 for $30, you’l have to buy something else,” said the corporate puppet sales person.  “Not if we purchase them separately,” replied the brave anti-corporate concert going hero Eric. 

So, onto the line.  We’re the 11th and 12th people in line.  Awesome!  The best part about flaming lips concerts is that the crowds are usually very laid back and friendly.  This is of course with the exception of the asshole standing a few people behind us who was clealy going to be an asshole all night (see later in the story, he ended up standing next to us). 

So, anyway, some people saw the Lips the previous night in Athens and still had the laser pointers that the Lips handed out at the show.  While the Orlando G staffed HOB security force was assembling, the people behind us were shining the laser pointer at them. 

The HOB security force leader comes up and shakes down the kids behind us. “We know you have a laser pointer, you need to give it to us or get out of here.”  Problem was, they were shaking down the wrong people, it was the group behind these guys.  5 minutes later, the security guy returns with ANOTHER head of security and gives the same shake down shpeel to the next group.  “We know you have a laser pointer, you need to give it to us or get out of here.”  The whole line starts yelling, “You just said the same exact thing to these other guys, what’s your problem.”  The security started yelling about how no one could have a laser pointer because it bothers the performers.  But we kept trying to explain that the BAND GAVE THEM OUT.

Long story short, HOB security is dumb.

So, we get inside and like i said, we’re the 11th and 12th people in the door.  We scope out a sweet spot on the rail overlooking the pit and plant ourselves.  Who wants to stand for 5 more hours?  We get bar stools and chill, enjoying what will be our perfect view of the stage.

Right before the Lips come on, Space Ghost and Spider Man come through the crowd with boxes full of laser pointers.  Travis grabs about 20 to hand out to the group around us.  Awesome.

Return to Mr. Asshole.  So, he ends up standing pretty close to us.  For some reason unbeknownst to sanity, Mr. Asshole and wife keep screaming “STELLLLAAAAAAAA!!!!”  every 30 seconds or so.  Usually, you can’t do anything in this situation, but I now have a laser pointer.  So, for the next 15 minutes or so, whenever he’d yell “STELLLLAAAAAAA,”  i’d shine the laser pointer in his eyes for about 40 seconds.  It was the perfect revenge.  There was no way to tell where the lasers were coming from.  As far as he knew, it was anybody.

Oh yeah, the concert goers kept ganging up laser style on the HOB security staff.  They kept covering them in about 4503452345 million lasers.  poor bastards.

The lips come out, Wayne has his giant hands on and they kick into Race for the Prize.  The band’s familiar projector and movie screen has been replaced by a massive LCD electronic screen that is just buring everyone’s retinas. 

CONFETTI is EVERYWHERE.  They now have confetti cannons that just shoot tons and tons of it into the crowd.  Also, there were so many giant balloons bouncing around that you could barely see the stage.

They then played some bizarre jam on the bridge of Led Zeppelin’s Kashmir and tore through the rest of the set. 

Highlights:

During “Vein of Stars,” the screen had a laser pointer countdown, during which we were instructed to all shine the lasers on Wayne.  5,4,3,2,1… hundreds (thousands?) of laser pointers are shining directly on Wayne.  He has a big mirror held up in front of his face and with that and all the smoke in the room, it’s pretty much a mind blowing effect.  I love how they took the most annoying feature of a large show (a guy with a laser pointer) and made it the most awesome effect ever.

Waiting for a Superman: the show was peppered with anti bushisms and this was probably the most poignant.  Wayne had a bugle that he was pretending to play.  But something was playing Taps, we figured it was the sequencer.  So, Wayne explained that someone invented a bugle prop that has a built in speaker which plays Taps.  The reason for this, he said, is because so many troops are dying and they don’t have enough bugle players to play taps.  So they invented this. 

Do you Realize: Closed the show.  More and more and more and more confetti.

awesome time.

Then we drove 3 hours from Orlando to Hollywood.  Seeing them again tonight. .

Currently listening : Shut Up, You Fucking Baby! By David Cross Release date: By 05 November, 2002